According to studies, around 25% of women find it hard to achieve an orgasm or have not experienced one. Some physiological factors can inhibit this, from partner issues to hormonal imbalance. Also, feeling the pressure as a woman to achieve an orgasm counter getting sexual arousal. Many also opt for libido pills for women hoping they will be of help. Developmental issues are also to blame. For instance, intrusiveness from parents, indifference, not feeling loved at home leave lasting scars. Below are some factors that negatively affect your orgasmic capacity causing you not to achieve a rich and more satisfying sex life.
1. Critical thoughts towards one’s body
Do you experience intrusive inner voices about your body as a woman? If so, it interferes with the progression of sexual excitement. It may be self-conscious thoughts about how small your breasts are, thinking you’re not clean, or you rarely have oral sex. Also, due to the negative attitudes to bodily functions from childhood. And genital areas are considered as excretory functions, including menstruation. It becomes a shame to some women about their genitals, and they start feeling dirty or contaminated. As a result, it interferes with them achieving an orgasm. These negative thoughts about various body parts make it difficult to find pleasure and enjoy sex fully.
2. Fear of arousing repressed memories of abuse
Women with a history of sexual molestation or abuse find it difficult to be close sexually to a partner and experiencing an orgasm, as it brings back unwanted traumatic memories. According to estimates, one of every four women experience inappropriate sexual contact or are sexually abused with a stranger or relative before they are 18. For this reason, being sexual is unconsciously associated with an abuser, more so when he is a family member. Thus, sex becomes tinged with emotional pain, and it is guilt-provoking and unacceptable to a woman’s mind. Plus, if there is a similarity between the partner and family member, higher memories will emerge.
3. Regarding sex as immoral
During the process of socialization, most women have acquired mixed views about sex from an early age. For instance, parent’s negative attitudes towards masturbation, nudity, and sex play have a powerful influence on both female and male children. Therefore, people grow up viewing certain sex acts as clean and acceptable and others as dirty and unacceptable. In addition, some religious belief systems perceive sex as a sinful nature of human beings. So women who take these attitudes see sex as shameful, wrong, and forbidden. And they feel guilty of seeking, wanting, or experiencing pleasure as actual punishment. Historically we could see this socialization play out through requirements for women to be chaste but in the modern age this isn’t required. Ally Michaels who owns the chastity store chastitybelt.com.au says that interestingly chastity has gone from an oppressive stigma to a kink allowing women to empower themselves sexually.
4. Fear of loss of control
If you are a woman who relies heavily upon maintaining control as a self-protective defense mechanism, you are prone to resist a free expressive sexual encounter. Also, it can show up as general fear of losing control in particular areas. Such as fear of making noise, fears of urinating when letting go. Since having control is related to existential issues of life and death. Thus, faced with issues of anxiety and death, people tend to detach from their animal nature, and they disconnect from the body, for it is mortal. Because of this, dissociation can inhibit experiencing the pleasures in the here and interaction during sex.
5. Fear of being vulnerable
As a relationship becomes more intimate and meaningful, a woman enjoys sexual counters. To other women, satisfying their wants and needs breaks the defensive posture of being self-sufficient and independent. Being receptive and open to another person threatens an inward and isolated, soothing way of protecting themselves from emotional hurt. Meaning, combining love and sex leads to vulnerability for them. And is anxiety-provoking as most women and men fear being committed fully to a significant other, especially if they were hurt emotionally.
To sum up, it is vital that both women and men understand themselves better and how they function in an intimate relationship. Also, they need to realize their issues concerning sexuality, and being close emotionally is not unusual in today’s culture. To overcome the sexual inhibitions and fears, become familiar and work through the above factors to start experiencing sexual desire.